Do annual goals really matter?
To paraphrase a favorite Aaron Sorkin character, “No. But they could.”
As someone who deals in growth, accountability and inspiration on the regular, I have an embarrassing confession. I rarely care about goals.
Now don’t get me wrong, I can write a SMART sheet with the very best of them. I am exceptionally good at penning annual targets and measurements. It’s what you do, right? It is when someone asks you to. When your boss needs to put them into a spreadsheet. When your teacher gives you a grade or your therapist needs to turn in evidence that you’re working. But when a client asked me what I was evaluating and hoping for in my own future, I had only stock answers.
Real, meaningful goals don’t come from HR. They don’t come from an action planning meeting. They come from a scary place–from courageously examining your current lived experience and having the audacity to imagine possible improvement.
In the last week of the calendar year, when I was genuinely taking time off of work, school, and most commitments for the first time in more than 20 years, I let myself go there.
Here’s how I did it.
Dream big, then dream real.
I find it helpful to imagine your favorite future self on a non-eventful day of the week, some day in the future. How are you spending your time? What are you enjoying? What are you not doing? What are you grateful for? The future state matters. So does the visualization.
List all the things you want in life. Include what you have always had on your bucket list, and the hairy scary things you don’t believe you deserve. This is where you get out your poster board and cut photos from magazines…I mean head on over to Pinterest and digitally gather the shiny things that catch your eye.
Then review the list–which of these will actually improve your experience the most? Which do you feel most in your heart and gut? Ditch the rest. You should be able to put a reminder of this goal on your 8” by 8” quote board without fishing for extra letters.
2. Include your Strengths.
The best way to personalize your goal is to call upon your strengths, but what does that really mean? You’re looking for opportunities to customize your approach to your most natural ways of showing up. Rather than just encouraging yourself to “use your strengths,” look for different strengths to fill different roles. First, a strength of yours that will help inspire action. Then, a strength that may help you reframe your mindset. Finally, a strength that will help you evaluate evidence of progress. It’s not quite “AIM” but it sounds the sAME. ;)
3. Call upon Cues.
Cues are key in the literature of habit-building. They’re designed to remove some of the friction caused by manual motivation toward your desired state. If you can attach the desired future experience to a current one, you’re already more likely to succeed. Examples include brushing your teeth before you go to bed, unplugging the toaster after you use it, or saying a prayer for someone any time you wash your hands. Going to bed, making toast, and washing your hands are things you already do. The additional action gets attached to the existing one.
4. Design a default.
Defaults serve a similar purpose as cues. But rather than looking at daily action, a default removes the obstacle of decision-making. Defaults help you follow through on your dream today, because when done well they leave little room to opt-out. Examples include automating your savings contribution so you don’t even see the cash in your spending account, booking a vacation well ahead of time so you don’t end up working through it, or setting your phone to airplane mode automatically during times of the day you don’t need the distraction.
It’s easy to get academic about goal-setting. I realize through my own exercise that I need to review what I’ve currently written with my coach, specifically so they can help me get out of my head and really into my feelings. I’ll return and share the amended version I’m sure, but for now, here’s my most real goal I’ve written to date:
It’s December 2023, and I am calm and inspired. I have removed layers of “should” and gotten better at listening to my own inner self. I am deeply connected to the intuition of my family and my clients, and I have discovered a healthier life by prioritizing rest. I accept bids for connection with those whose love is healing. I am learning.
(And from there, I do have a list of specific, measurable, action-based things. I’m working on cues and defaults too.)
That’s the draft for today. Download my worksheet of prompts if you’re ready to do some work on your own favorite future self. You are already incredible–what will help you reveal your talent to yourself?
