The 7-word Question to Change Your Whole Perspective

My client knew what she needed.  Most of us do.  With some gentle reminding from me, she even realized she had been teetering on the edge of this change for months.  She was dancing around it and then shying away.  But the shift kept making itself known, especially when she got out of her own head and into her intuition.

We got closer and closer to describing the action she was designing in her mind.  We had a timeline, a clear picture of the steps she would take, and a focused reason she wanted to make this change. 

I interrupted the flow and changed the entire rhythm of our conversation with, “Can I ask a potentially snarky question?”  The irony escaped me in the moment, but I smile about it in hindsight.

“Sure,” she said, a bit jarred by my shift in energy, “As long as I can give you a snarky answer.” 

“What makes you think you’re worth that?”

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

So often we don’t reach for what we know we need, because we get distracted wrestling with worthiness instead.  If we zoomed out, most of the time we would notice that everyone around us assumed we were not only worthy of the enhanced approach we crave.  They’d be surprised we aren’t already doing it.  We like habits.  We like what works, what is predictable, what we are used to.  As a result, we overestimate the ripples a change will cause, and underestimate the support we have around us.

Ask the same question in regard to staying where you are, rather than making that change.  

“What makes you think you’re worth that?” 

It’s not a comma in the middle of a phrase, but the emphasis can still change the meaning and consume your waking days. What value are you claiming for yourself in making a courageous leap?  And equally important, what value are you settling for if you stay exactly where you are?  

Nothing in nature stays the same.  If you look back on where you were several years ago, you can notice this.  In the moment, small shifts are more difficult to notice.  But if growth and pivots are inevitable, why not value yourself enough to leap before you are pushed?  Start before you feel ready.  Chances are high that the people around you either won’t notice, or will expect you to have taken action on this change already.

You are worth it.