Why your people are looking for new jobs, and how to engage them for real
This is an AI-generated image…can you believe it!? I couldn’t either. And then I realized those are not my teeth, and something is up with her fingers. And oh yea, I didn’t ever go to that photo shoot. But we cling to what’s obvious, what’s easy, what we can see. And paychecks are something we’ve been taught to know forever. The squishy emotional experience of great relationships, overcoming challenge, or embracing intimacy is much harder to understand and sadly, much easier to lose sight of during stressful times. Don’t let your people lose the work you’ve done. Clarify expectations early, often, and again.
Fail to clarify expectations, and all the messy work you’ve done as a leader gets overshadowed by the parking spot and office ping pong table.
Half of workers (42%-65% depending on which survey you trust) are actively job-searching. Most are in seeking better pay, and why wouldn’t they be?
Especially in leadership positions and knowledge industries, ambiguity is the norm. I regularly challenge myself and my clients to describe their workplace responsibilities in a way both they and a young child could clearly agree on what is being said. And I’ve yet to come up with something better than what our son told his preschool class years ago, “Dad flies planes. Mom talks to people.”
We are wired to reach for what is clear, and in the absence of clarity, we grip onto what we can measure. Pay is one such thing. Time off, location, access to zen meditation spaces, and company cars are more examples. These aren’t perks that make a significant difference in the wellbeing of workers or customers. But they are obvious options to help paint a picture of an otherwise ambiguous job. Sure, we can say the tangible, measurable parts aren’t what drive heartfelt engagement, but our brains will cling to what’s most easy to picture. And if you are not having the ongoing conversation about the foundation of emotional engagement–clarifying expectations–then pay, parking spots, and access to remote fiber internet will do it for you.
Where human relationships are concerned, the world of workplace research offers a lot to learn. Plenty of different brands will offer you their ideal survey, but the common threads appear to be as follows–and the order matters:
Clarify Expectations. What are we promising? What issue are we really discussing? Where are we coming from? Where are we going?
Facilitate Support. What do you need in order to succeed? What do I need? How can we fulfill these needs? (Informational/Relational/Technical)
Individualize. What unique human experiences are at play? Specifically, how does each person truly light up in two ways: recognition and challenge?
This framework was born from behavioral economics, and tested through positive psychology frameworks, customer engagement, and employee attachment. Perhaps more importantly, it works with hormonal teenagers. Out of sync with a dysregulated roommate? Take a breath, then come back to clarifying expectations: What are we really talking about, and what do each of us want out of this? Then proceed to facilitating support, and if appropriate, customizing recognition and growth opportunities.
I’m reminded of a client I worked with who served as the executive director of a regulatory arm within a major financial institution. He struggled for months trying to coach and support a direct report, but ultimately needed to have the hard conversation about repositioning this person to a different role. Concerns of retaliation held my client emotionally hostage, primarily due to a lack of agreement on what excellence in leadership looked like. No one involved could describe in similar terms what they hoped this role would be. Not my client. Not his HR team. Not the individual in question. All parties were frustrated at the lack of progress, but no one had common words to paint what that progress should have been.
In this specific instance, it was groundbreaking for my client to map out his expectations of a leader in his division. And today, I hope my work as a privileged outsider can help you do the same.
In undergrad, I never knew what the business administration students were actually doing. To this broadcast journalism major with theater dreams and a crushed velvet collegiate choir uniform, that just sounded like, “I want to be a boss.” After a few decades serving as a curious advisor across and within the corporate landscape, I’m truly concerned by how many of us haven’t done the work of defining what we are doing, or what we want to create in doing so. Expecations shouldn’t be permanent. In fact, we should anticipate revisiting, re-focusing, and re-forecasting frequently. But if you can’t remember the last time you had a conversation about what good looks like, chances are you’re completely giving up on what excellence could be.
Ideally, we acknowledge the value each individual has to offer, and we recognize and challenge that value–creating rock stars in every role. You should be able to retire happily as an individual contributor, especially if you’re really good at it. I dream of a workplace similar to the Norwegian Air Force (my research here is based upon anecdotes from fighter pilots I fed jalapeno popcorn upon their return from an exchange program). It’s not only accepted, but encouraged to choose your pathway: keep flying and fly like the best flyers have ever flown, or lean into the leadership track–and be the Pete Mitchell of managers.
We are human. And for now, the majority of us gravitate toward what we can see, measure, and predict. We would all do ourselves massive favors if we could describe our roles not as accomplishments on a vertical ladder, but as the differences we made from whatever rung we stood. Until then, it is crucial to have the conversations about expectations early, often, and again.
I created this downloadable leadership development pathway to help solidify a far-too-ambigous conversation. My challenge for you is 2-fold:
First, clarify with yourself: What is it you are paid to do? Who else agrees with your definition? What conversations do you need to have to promote hope and trust, simply by clarifying expectations?
Recognize specifics you want to see more of, no matter the hierarchy of the role. The better we do at talking about the behavior we value, the better we create clarity for others to replicate it.
We are more valuable than espresso machines in the break rooms. But until we make it a habit to care for the clarity of our expectations, the clarity of paychecks and perks will win. At your level, you’re in this for more than the paycheck. Let’s do better for the next generation of workers, because they deserve it. Because they aren’t going to put up with our facade. Because we deserve it. Because it matters.
Ready for more?
Maika personally takes on a limited number of executive coaching clients per year. Her network of trusted coaches and facilitators are available to support you and your team through facilitated team conversations, ongoing coaching, and keynote message delivery. Book a discovery conversation here:
